2025 mid-year update

I really can’t believe I haven’t blogged in roughly six months. Then again, I know what I’ve been dealing with so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s been a lot. Many, many changes. I think they’re for the better but time will tell.

Separated and living alone

The sub-title says it all. My wife of 16.5 years and I are separated.

Folks who know us seem surprised. And why not? To outsiders, we seemed happy and content. But we weren’t. We’ve been roommates at best for several years now. And truly happy? No. Neither of us were. We had been going through motions just getting through our days rather than actually living life together to its fullest.

So in April, we made the mutual decision to part ways amicably.

I won’t get into blame because I think that’s shared 50/50. My wife may disagree with that, and that’s her choice. I can only speak for myself: I could have done better.

Regardless, the end result is that we’re separated, now living in two apartments.

My bedroom

Mine is only a mile from our current house; hers is an hour away, near my step-daughter, her husband and their baby. That’s where she wants to be, and I respect that.

We quickly finished up some home projects in May and put the house up for sale by June 1 for nearly double what we paid for it in 2016. Three days later we had multiple offers over the asking price.

Since accepting one of those offers we’ve been dealing with seller requests: a new HVAC system and hot water heater for example. We’ve had to manage paperwork in anticipation for the settlement later this month. And we’ve had to clean out all of our belongings from the house.

We’re in the home stretch of that process now. Both of us have everything we wanted from the house in our respective apartments.

She has a storage facility for some of her belongings. I’m a minimalist, so I don’t. That’s not a judgement, just a fact. She and I are different people with different lifestyles and expectations; nothing wrong with that.

My porch view

Less is definitely more… for me

My apartment is fantastic and moving in gave me a chance to determine what I truly need. Out of the furniture and things I took from the house, I decided to take:

  • My 20 year old leather recliner and an end table I use next to it
  • The mattress I’ve been sleeping on; no bed frame as I don’t want/need one
  • A small desk and office chair to use for my desktop computer
  • A dresser with 3 drawers for my socks, underwear, shorts, and sweatpants
  • My dozen or so outfits hanging in the closet
  • A pair each of beer glasses, rocks glasses and coffee mugs

I took more small, personal items of course, but that’s the bulk of it, save for two outdoor chairs I use on my new porch. Other than those chairs and my recliner, I moved slowly over the month of June using my car.

I spent roughly $1,000 to add a new loveseat, TV stand and a pair of barstools. Basically, just things I thought I’d need. I also dropped $170 or so on a minimal set of pots and pans because my place has an induction cooktop.

New living room
Barstools

I purchased plates / bowls and new kitchen utensils. Only 4 of each because… it’s just me.

I run my dishwasher once every 4 or 5 days. I do my laundry once a week. I hit the grocery store (a mile away) daily for dinner. I might have 1,000 square feet of living space, which is plenty. Life is simple. And I’m happy here.

Work is… the same, mostly

I’m still working at Wawa, which is 1.4 miles from the apartment. Not that much farther than the house was, which is 1.2 miles from Wawa. I’m consistently getting 32 hours a week, which means I should be eligible for benefits in October. My wife is graciously covering my healthcare until then.

With a simpler, more solitary life, I do have more free time. Thankfully, I have a single article freelance gig in progress.

I’ll share more detail once that effort nears a conclusion. I couldn’t pass it up because it pays almost two months rent. And it’s on a topic that I enjoy researching.

My desk

I also have the framework for a new content property fleshed out. It would be a passion project but it could also be something that provides enough income to leave Wawa in the future.

I don’t need to make six figures to pay my bills and be happy. I just need enough… and that number is relatively meager, not to mention attainable with the new content idea.

First I need to get through the home settlement and distribution of joint assets in the coming weeks. Then I can refocus on my content ideas.

A new beginning

I look at this situation as an opportunity, not a setback. It’s not something I expected, of course. I’ll roll with it, like I always do with any of life’s challenges, making the best of it.

And I appreciate the changes I’ve already made over the last five years: minimalism and Stoic philosophy are the bedrock of my daily life. Without them, I think I’d be ill-equipped to handle this new beginning.

Instead, I’m looking forward to what the next six months bring me!